Transform a toxic desire into true passion with this awareness integration technique.
A toxic desire is something you want that harms you or lets you down in some way.
Maybe a desire or addiction undermines your health or drains your bank account. Or maybe it causes problems in your relationships.
Maybe a desire or addiction KEEPS YOU from accomplishing daily tasks or experiencing real love or achieving SUCCESS in your life.
You might not be aware of the ways your desire hurts you. Or maybe you’re well aware of the harm it does. But the desire is so powerful, you’re ready to THROW YOUR WHOLE LIFE AWAY in the heat of the moment! Or maybe you don’t even LIKE your desire. But it became a HABIT and now you can’t live without it. What can you do?
Religion might say that lust is evil and sends you to hell. But does that really help?
Spirituality isn’t much better when it reminds you that desire leads to suffering.
And the whole world is ready to CASH IN on your addictions. Constant spam and advertising for the largest profiteering industries around the globe target your addictions to make sure you stay HOOKED throughout your life.
When you repeatedly indulge in a toxic desire, you form a bad habit called addiction. When you RESIST your desires, they only get REPRESSED and come back MORE POWERFUL. It’s a NO-WIN GAME!
Thankfully, the ancient yoga sutras of Patanjali explain THE PROCESS to integrate a desire in order to reach liberation. This process is called Samyama. I’ve refined and utilized this awareness technique many times for myself and my clients with BEAUTIFUL SUCCESS. Read on.
The first thing to understand about desire is that your desire is DESPERATELY TRYING TO PROVIDE SOMETHING YOU NEED.
There’s something vital that you’re MISSING in your life. Your desire is trying to GET that vital thing to ensure your well-being or your very SURVIVAL. Here’s an example:
One morning I woke up and I felt extremely cold, light-headed, and tired. But I wasn’t sick. I also had IRRESISTIBLE cravings for silk chocolate cake. I tried to resist the cravings but after days of torture, I didn’t just walk to the store. I RAN to the store.
I devoured the whole piece of cake before I even got home! I went back the next day and got more. This time I bought THREE slices instead of one. This went on for DAYS and I kept buying MORE. I felt defeated, ashamed, and confused. As hard as I tried, I COULD NOT RESIST this chocolate craving!
I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I decided to do an internet search for my symptoms of fatigue, feeling cold, and dizzy….
I realized I was dangerously ANEMIC. I had a severe iron deficiency. My body was trying to get the essential mineral IRON for my red blood cells in order to TRANSPORT OXYGEN in my blood which gives me energy and keeps me ALIVE. Somehow, my body’s intelligence latched onto this particular chocolate dessert to get what it needed to SURVIVE. I actually NEEDED that chocolate cake!
This would be a happy ending to the story except there was only ONE PROBLEM:
I couldn’t survive on chocolate cake! It only contained SMALL AMOUNTS of LOW QUALITY iron and it had other ingredients that gave me headaches and made me bloated, fat, and sick. That’s because…
Toxic desires are only meant to be a TEMPORARY last ditch effort for your well-being or survival until the REAL thing arrives.
Desires are only a FAKE VERSION of the REAL thing you REALLY WANT.<–Make a note.
Your toxic desire isn’t the REAL THING. It’s just a fantasy, an artificial substitute, an empty promise, a fake relationship…. That’s why you always need MORE and you’re NEVER SATISFIED.
If you really look at your desire, you’ll notice you feel a DEEP PAIN when it’s over. Desire is always connected with PAIN. When physical, mental, or emotional pain isn’t taken care of, desire tries to step in to take care of the emergency as a LAST RESORT. Desire is an attempt to COMPLETE your PAIN.
All desires are FALSE desires because they attempt to complete your PAIN.
If you look at your desire, your desire will tell you EXACTLY the REAL thing you’re missing which is your PAIN.
- If you have a shopping addiction or spending problem, you’re missing TRUE WEALTH or HIGH QUALITY POSSESSIONS.
- If you binge eat junk food, you’re missing REAL FOOD and VITAL NUTRIENTS.
- If you’re hooked on trashy romance novels, you’re missing REAL LOVE in your life.
- If you have a drug addiction, you’re missing REAL BLISS or TRUE EMOTIONS.
- If you have a porn addiction, you’re missing REAL INTIMACY in your life.
- If you’re addicted to violence, you’re missing TRUE ACTIVISM for social justice and safety.
- If you’re hooked on social media, you’re missing GENUINE RELATIONSHIPS in your life.
- If you’re addicted to gaming, you’re missing ACTUAL FUN or REAL CHALLENGES in your life.
- If you’re hooked on TV and movies, you’re missing your TRUE LIFE PASSION, GENUINE SUCCESS, or REAL RISK-TAKING ADVENTURES in your own life.
The REAL thing that’s missing is the CAUSE of your PAIN. Your desire is a way to COMPLETE YOUR PAIN or bring AWARENESS to your pain, unless you keep escaping pain with false desires. Then you only ADD to your pain or PROLONG it.
What is your desire trying to tell you that you NEED? What is your desire trying to MOTIVATE you to ATTAIN for your well-being or survival? Maybe you need:
- Your body’s daily required NUTRIENTS in their natural whole food balance
- Much needed REST, deep SLEEP, or a VACATION
- Healthy physical ENERGY to accomplish your goals
- Basic LIFE NEEDS
- Financial SECURITY
- Acceptance, validation, or RESPECT
- REAL LOVE, affection, or intimacy
- Someone who’s PASSIONATE about you
- A person, group, or community to SUPPORT YOU or care for you
- FREEDOM to be yourself, say what you want, or live the life you want
- Plenty of PLEASURE or FUN in your life
- A CREATIVE outlet
- Your LIFE PASSION or soul mission
- Your personal POWER
When I realized I was iron deficient, I immediately took an iron supplement. Then I started eating delicious chia pudding every day for iron and other nutrients. My INTENSE, RELENTLESS cravings for the sugary chocolate dessert COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED in two days. I walk by the dessert section all the time at the store and I don’t even notice it! My true needs are SATISFIED.
Sure, the REAL THING may not HYPER EXCITE your physical senses like a toxic desire. But the REAL thing will be rich, passionate, meaningful, deeply fulfilling, and most importantly – the good feelings will LAST.
The only thing needed is to INTEGRATE your false desires and discover your TRUE PASSION. Your NATURAL PASSION will creatively INSPIRE you to ATTAIN what you REALLY want!
Daily Practice Instructions
Please read these instructions before starting the Daily Practice.
- You can journal, talk it out, create art, or SAFELY EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS any way you’d like.
- Focus on ONE issue at a time to keep it simple.
- Expect RESISTANCE to this daily practice! Resistance can take the form of being too busy, overwhelmed, or confused to do the Daily Practice.
- It generally takes 3 – 6 weeks to DEPROGRAM from POWERFUL SOCIAL CONDITIONING that trains you to numb, escape, distrust, or be afraid of your feelings.
- When you complete a full round of questions, you should feel AMAZING. If you don’t feel absolutely AMAZING, your issue has not yet been integrated.
- Just one round of questions can help you feel better IMMEDIATELY. Feeling a little better allows you to go deeper into your issue each day until it’s FULLY INTEGRATED and you FEEL FABULOUS.
Transform a toxic desire into true passion with this awareness integration technique.
- What is your toxic desire and how does it make you FEEL GOOD?
- How does your toxic desire DISAPPOINT YOU OR HARM YOU?
- What does your desire tell you that you REALLY NEED, LOVE, OR VALUE?
- What can you start doing TODAY to REALLY EXPERIENCE what you need, love, or value?
Daily Practice Example
- What is your toxic desire and how does it make you FEEL GOOD? I have a coffee addiction. It gives me energy, makes me happy, and gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
- How does your toxic desire DISAPPOINT YOU OR HARM YOU? The energy isn’t stable and I want to go back to bed before noon. The acid from coffee upsets my stomach, stains my teeth, and gives me yucky coffee breath. I can’t feel the happy coffee buzz anymore unless I drink a lot. Then I get coffee headaches, anxiety, and I can’t sleep at night.
- What does your desire tell you that you REALLY NEED, LOVE, OR VALUE? I really want natural energy that lasts all day without making me feel jittery or tired. I also want to ENJOY MY LIFE so I don’t need coffee as an incentive to get out of bed.
- What can you start doing TODAY to REALLY EXPERIENCE what you need, love, or value? I can start eating high energy foods with B-vitamins or take a shot of wheatgrass juice. I might try drinking matcha tea which is loaded with nutrients and has more stable caffeine without the acid. I also decided to change careers and start doing work that I really LOVE!